Friday, February 18, 2011

The bulge on my right hand's middle finger

Although it goes against everything I've been taught and believe in, I hate to admit I belong to a group of millions of girls across the globe who are on a constant hunt for any out of the "norm" aspects of their appearances. Which sucks, because there is no norm, and the standards we weigh against are put together by machines, and we are really supposed to be thanking God that we're not deaf, blind or dumb instead.

But there still exists a 'fault' in my appearance that passes the critical examination. And that's a tiny bump on the side of my right hand's middle finger. I love it. It was born when I reached around nine years old, and continued to grow with me- the finger's result of enduring many hours of being pressed against a pen.

The bump is my wedding ring- a reminder of a commitment. No matter how busy my day, how tired I am, how elated or depressed or angry or nervous, I will never give up on sitting and putting down on paper everything that's going on in my life and all the thoughts that run around my head. Without this regular activity, I'd go insane. It is so important to me to sort out everything life's giving me in words.

In good times, I feel I owe it to my future self to narrate all the positivity I experience at that moment. I never know when I'd need it. And in bad times, I honestly can't figure out what I'm thinking if I don't write it down. My brain finds it difficult to work if my fingers aren't assisting it.

Sometimes, it comforts me when I can write it all down like it's just another novel I'm reading. And then my entire life turns into a story, and I smile to myself because I am more awake than ever to the insignificance of our tiny surreal world that will seem like only the blink of an eye one day.

4 comments:

  1. I love it! "It's my wedding ring". What a great line :)

    I'm glad you are happy with that 'peculiarity' and not 'trying to do plastic surgery'.

    Keep writing, :)

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  2. Wow - I have the same bulge and it reached a point where I thought it was going to burst from its ginormous spherical volume! But now it's beginning to shrink agains since I type so much more, write less on paper, and have been experiencing writer's block for a couple of years now, lol.
    Loved the post! :)

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  3. Thanks both of you
    That's sad :( Technology is amazing and has improved our lives in many ways, but it erases little things in life like these!

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  4. I have always been a computer-person. I don't really write anything other than note-cards for studying and practice problems for other courses. But I think it is more so because I have no privacy to keep what I write down in a journal or something to myself. So, I do so online instead.

    ReplyDelete

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