Monday, August 19, 2013

Instant clicking

I think I have come to terms with being an adult but there are still a few things that I need to digest.
Like how tremendously complicated it is to 'click' with people, and stay clicked. How infinite the factors to take into account are.

Do you remember how easy it was as a kid to click with other kids?

Once my mother took my sister and I to visit my aunt, who was living in the same city and who we visited regularly. Usually we spent our visits with her, telling her stories from school while she made jars of pickles in the kitchen for us to take home. But this time, there was a lady we'd never met before already sitting in the living-room, with a daughter a year younger than me. So as customs dictated, it was my responsibility to entertain the girl.

'Go and play' everyone urged, and so I led her to my aunt's room (which was the only other room) and we connected by turning her bed into a trampoline. That's all we did- we just jumped on the bed. I don't remember us asking each other what our names were, what kind of games we liked to play, what our favourite colour was. Jumping on the bed was enough of a strong introduction that I whined when they had to leave, and thought it was the most miraculous, divine miracle when we spotted each other the next day at school. It was enough for me to count it in one of my earliest real human connections and I don't even know what that girl's name was. 

This other time, I had one of the best summer vacations the year a cousin came from Kuwait with her two girls that were around my age. We clicked so quickly and deeply that I even started talking in a Kuwaiti dialect at home (much to my mother's annoyance). They had rented a house for their two-weeks stay that belonged to a family we knew- an Afghan family who were in the carpet-making business- so you can imagine how beautiful this home was. It stood alone on a road that steeped upward- a large, three-storeyed home with wooden floors. This became my second-home for those two weeks: we spent hour after hour having the time of our lives- but now when I try to think of it, we never actually had to talk or 'get to know each other' to connect. It was enough that we had cheerio-gulping competitions, sessions where we dressed up as ghosts and scared their little sister, and adventurous sneaks into the basement where we each had the privilege of ironing clothes (and burning them).

At one sleep-over that I'll always remember, we abandoned our beds and sprawled our blankets on the floor in the middle of the room, camping on them. We went out into the pitch-black garden at some point on tip-toes, rushing back after mistaking an upside broom for a human. When we finally decided to give in to sleep, we each held out a clothes hanger in the air to protect ourselves from the robber outside. I remember feeling so incredibly happy with my new friends as we closed our eyes and held out our clothes-hanger weapons before us. Simple, real connections.


  1. Oh, these sound like very good times.
    I hope most of your childhood memories are like this - carefree and fun . . .
    love & love,

  2. I remember those moments, how I miss them. Yet I do cherish the close friends and deep conversations we have now.

  3. We do not realize how special these moments are until we look back. But they are in our memory to savor and relive. Wonderful post.

  4. Such beautiful memories. It's far easier to click as kids when we are free from stereotypes and judging others. Wonderful article. Thanks for sharing. :)

  5. I miss having a real close connection with friends. Friends who know everything about you because they were there when you were little and you went through life together.

    Whenever I hug my best friend, who I've known my whole life and who is just like a sister to me, I feel like she knows my whole world. She supports me in everything I do, and has always stood by me.

    The friendships I develop now are different. Not bad, just different. But the ones I made when I was young I will cherish forever.

  6. Aah, I'm nostalgic now! Those were such good times... no one judging you, no one to feel awkward with, no worries, just someone to have fun with. Unfortunately, as we grow, simply having fun matters less, and having someone to discuss your problems with becomes essential.

  7. Oh, I agree! So much. Another reason I wish I was a leetle kid again. One of my own memories is how I first became friends with Linchy. One minute I was lying on my bed, reading a book, wishing my mother had invited some of MY friends to dinner, and the next moment, she was in my room, and we were trying to barricade the door against all the little kids, before we resorted to assorted dress ups to try and scare them away.

    And it's just like you said: we didn't really talk, we didn't really 'get to know each other'. It just happened. Like, CLICK.

    Awesome post :) I feel all warm and fuzzy and nostalgic too.

  8. Oh those connections are made just by jumping on those trampoline's. Sigh.

  9. Great thoughts! Recently, I enjoy my aloneness or the company of my parents. It's hard to find real friends in the world but if you do, treasure it :)

  10. I can completely relate to this! Connections were much more real and easier to make when we were younger. I suppose it's the innocence that children have, they haven't experienced too much in this world to actually be cautious or wary of anything.

    Wonderfully written, as always!

  11. I can totally relate to this post. As I can to many others. "Clicking" is very difficult to do, especially as everyone has guards and is always conservative with what they share.
    You write such simple things, but make every thing you write seem so important. So thank you!

    And thank you for sharing your thoughts, always.

    As this is my farewell tour, I just want you to know, keep writing, keep sharing the innards of your mind, for it is a wonderful place. :)

  12. Hi Ghadeer .. lovely stories and definitely so relateable. Mind you sitting round a kitchen table while pickles are made and sharing stories - brings back many memories ...

    Lovely - cheers Hilary

  13. The way we connect with people differs at different stages of life. But the carefree and simple connections can be made when you're an adult too: depends totally on the people one is talking to.
    Reflecting back I remember I would always start by asking the kid's name while almost always looking at my feet for shyness, the next thing would be which school they were in and a slightly raised head and finally their hobbies whilst raising my head completely and 'connecting' fully lol.


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